So I had a special phone call today. Come back from lunch, and there is a note on my desk: “Call Mrs_________ for wood quote”. Ok, I thought. I’ll get to that in a few. There was a customer wanting to get carpet cut. So as I’m cutting the carpet, the home decor associate hands me her phone, and says its for me. It’s this customer. She wants to get measured for a wood install. Ok. I start the process by going through my typical qualifying remarks about lead time, estimate cost, etc. After that, I get into the more specific items…

Me: Ok Ma’am, are you familiar without our measurement process?

her: “Yes. I’m in your system. I’ve bought things there before”.

me:”ok. What’s the address we’re doing the work on?”

Her: “I TOLD YOU! I’m in your system. It’s all there”

me: ok..[enters phone number, reads back address] Is this correct?

Her: Yes. I knew we were in the system. All my info is in there.

Me: Ok, how many rooms did you want to have done?

Her: Um…two. Three. Maybe part of another. Just one.

Me: Eyebrow So….two rooms? Maybe part of a third?

Her: No. Just the dining room, wash room, and bathroom.

Me: Ok, so did you want the solid hardwood that is nailed down, or the engineered floating hardwood, or were you thinking laminate?”

Her: No. It’s not wood. It’s laminate. It’s wood. It looks like wood. Actually it’s vinyl. The kind that clicks. That shouldn’t make a difference”.

Me: It does for the labor part… Oops….Ok ma’am..floating vinyl plank. Gotcha. [further questions about install] …”Ok ma’am, it’ll be 35$ for the detail fee, that get’s returned as a credit against your labor when you buy the inst-

her, cutting me off: “Angry What??? What do you mean? They’re charging for that now???”

Me…giving up hope on humanity”: “Yeah. Did you want to use your Lowe’s card?” [proceeds to get card info and schedule detail]