Retail Stores Confessional2017-04-29T03:20:20+00:00

Stories from the Confessional
~ Retail Stores ~

March 2018

Well… they’re rock

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Customer just asked me how durable one of our rock mosaics are.Eyebrow Well... they're rock... so ya, they're durable.

3 different estimates

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I had a customer last week who wanted 3 different estimates for 3 different laminate floorings in her area. Well, 2 of the 3 are non stock, so it meant having to go to Genesis and attach the estimate, which is fine, but the transitions and quarter round were also non-stock, so I ended up creating a lot of estimates in Genesis. I emailed all 3 estimates to the customer. Because of having to work around customers, it took me close to 3 hours to complete. However, the customer was not satisfied. She next wanted each of the 3 estimates broken down into the 3 separate rooms she wanted the laminate in. I kindly told her that if she wanted that, I would have to ask for a refigure for the 3 separate rooms. She could not understand why I had to do that. I explained that the original detail [...]

God forbid you don’t laugh at a customer’s joke

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Oh, God forbid you don't laugh at a customer's joke too. A coworker of mine that left a year back was named Tatiana. Not a difficult name, but, yes, one you don't hear often. (At least in our little backwater area) She was training me in Flooring. Well this older guy and his wife talked to us about vinyl sheeting and in stock carpet, and the customer decided to make fun as he was leaving. "Well if I call back with any questions, I can ask for y'all, right? I'd probably ask for Taylor though! It's way easier to pronounce for a redneck like me! Tatti-Anna, Taht-Yanna, that's way too difficult!" Not only did we not laugh, but neither did his wife. "Or maybe I'll just find another company to work with! How does that sound?!" That sounds great


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Walked up to a group of four people to asked them if they are finding everything ok. After I did ask them one of them asked me very loudly " You got any xanax?!" I just said no and turned around and walked off.


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Me: Flooring Department how may I help you? Her: Do you have the tile that's on my floor? [what an opener] Me: Do you have an item number or UPC of the floor? Her: No. (fiddles with box) I can't see any numbers on here. I know the name though. [thank God] Me: Alright, what's the name? Her: It's name is C-O-L-O-U-R. [that's just the European way of spelling color. She's not very bright] Me: Are you sure there's no UPC? Her: (gives me a 8 digit number) Me: A UPC is usually 12 digits long. Her: I can't find a UPC. I found the barcode though. [sigh] Me: Okay. Can you give me the digits below it? Her: (gives me a 9 digit number) Me: That's not pulling up in my system. Have you tried calling 1-800-..(gets cut off) Her: EXCUSE ME?! I ain't calling no number! You work [...]

Can I finger your paint

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A couple days ago I had a person come up to the paint desk and ask if he could dip his fingers in some paint, thinking it was a joke I began to laugh. I could see in his eyes that it was a legit question. After telling him the only way he was going to be dipping his fingers in my paint was if he was going to purchase some. He started to walk away, turning around to tell me that his father was a painter and he used to do it all the time(giving me a look like I was the crazy one)


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