We had a customer come to the Quick Solar table we had set up in the front of aisle 1 and tell the Representative that the product was was destroying the sun. Their reason was that solar panels are stealing energy from the sun. Here's your sign!
Step 1: Remove all warning labels. Step 2: Let natural selection take its course.
Customer: "Can you figure out square footage for me?" Me: "Of course, what are your measurements?" (thinking: yeah i can do grade school math for you) C: "12 feet by 6..." M: "Ok, so that would be 72 squa--" C: "...by 11 by 8" M: o_O
I always get a kick when a customer has their phone in their hand and ask for a calculator. I say sure and pull my phone out of my pocket, few make the connection.
I had an old coot today who opened a credit card and her limit was $500 and she asked why it was, and I told her it was based on the information she gave to which she was bitching about being a millionaire and not giving her annual income information because she shouldn't have to and she kept going with this ridiculous story and at some point I just wanted to yell at her and tell her bs doesn't work because 1) a millionaire doesn't need a fuckton of credit cards 2) she wouldn't be desperate to ask for [...]
I had a mad customer once. He asked for a card to call the owner. So I handed him a card and he pulled out his phone and called the number. MY ASS started to ring and I picked it up and answered the phone as I looked at him and said Glass Repair Guys complaint department. BHAHAHAHAH he was so mad so so so mad.. BHAHAHA it was so funny about 6 of the guys working at the shop I work at were all laughing at him too.. made my day.
My manager was dealing with a mad customer and the customer asks him if he can talk to the manager and my manager says "yeah one second..." he does a dramatic ass 360 turn and says to the customer " Hi.. I'm the manager how can I help you today?" LMAO!
Had a guy by the vinyl flooring asking about how durable they are. Told him about each one we carry and he said he'd "test them out". Proceeds to take a reciprocating saw blade and scratch each and every sample of vinyl we had out, saying "No this one scratches, this one too." Just started thinking to myself "No s*** they scratch if you're slashing a blade across them like you're slicing a baguette." Politely, but firmly asked him to stop, said he'd think about getting it and left.
I got stuck at Customer Service for a few minutes on Wednesday and had an odd one; it was a first in my nearly 8 years here: Me: Sir, can I help you? Him: I need to pick up an order. She called and said it was ready. Me: OK, what phone number would it be under? (he tells me, I look. Nothing.) Is there another number that it might be under by some chance? Him: No, that's the only number. He said she called and told him it was ready! Me: Well, let me try something else. What [...]
It drives me absolutely NUTS when adults send their children to ask for help (usually the same children who have been running around wrecking everything). Seriously, you're a grownup, act like it. Besides, I don't let my kids out of my sight when we're in public. The one exception I'll give is the Chinese family that brings their 10 year old with them. He speaks far better English than his parents or grandparents, and he's nicer to deal with, too!